Top 8 Reasons Why I Hated Being Pregnant

Top 8 Reasons Why I Hated Being Pregnant

I hated being pregnant.

I couldn’t stand it. Now don’t get me wrong,  I am so very blessed that I was able to conceive and carry a child, I get that. I enjoyed the kicks and the thought that I was creating a life. A life that was half the person I love and myself. But still hated being pregnant. I never understood the women who say that they just love being pregnant. I mean, I didn’t even have morning sickness and I couldn’t stand it. Those women must be magical unicorns.

 Here are my reasons:

  1. No wine. Do I really need to explain more? But really, not being able to come home and have a glass of wine sucked. It was even worse in my case because I quit smoking, drinking and had to come off my anxiety pills (the “safe kind” made me super sick) all at the same time. This made dealing with stress really hard so I especially wished I could have had my wine.
  2. I was crazy. HormTop 8 Reasons Why I Hated Being Pregnantones come with the territory obviously but no one tells you how out of control you feel. I felt like I wasn’t in my body. There were days where I would be in a great mood, until I pulled into town then I would be super pissed. I couldn’t even tell my husband why I wanted to kill him. I hated feeling like that. Hated feeling out of control with my emotions. Not to mention not being able to have any caffeine (I couldn’t stand coffee), not being on anxiety medication and lack of tobacco didn’t make me a pleasant person.
  3. Everyone cares. I hated all the extra attention while pregnant. Before being pregnant, no one asks how you are or how you are feeling. But when you get pregnant, everyone suddenly cares about you. Every day I had a million people ask me how I was feeling (which at a certain point you can just glare at those people), how the baby is, what is new blah blah blah. I mean it was all because they cared I guess but it is like people become obsessed with you just because you are pregnant.
  4. People want to touch you. I have a few tendencies of Aspergers, one of them hating to be touched. It makes me uncomfortable. But when you are pregnant there are a lot of people, mainly older women, that want to touch your belly. I wish I was the type of person that was able to tell them to stop, but I just gritted my teeth through it.
  5. Heartburn. Oh my did I have heartburn. I would puke up acid it was so bad. I do not miss that at all. Everything under the moon gave me heartburn, even milk. & my kid came out with hardly any hair! These are what saved me http://amzn.to/2jEOQil, I literally ate them like candy most of the time.
  6. Getting fat. In all fairness most of mine was due to my medical issue (read more about that here) . But it was still super hard to see my body change and not have any control over it. Again, I know this is something that happens when you get pregnant but I had a really hard time with it. I believe it is because I was once really heavy and I had lost so much weight. Even though I knew it was because I was pregnant, there was something in me that was internally panicking about getting back to where I was.
  7. Food aversions/ cravings. Back to not being in control over my body ( See number 1). I couldn’t stand my normal healthy food anymore and all I wanted was junk food. I blamed Troy for that the entire pregnancy. I even hated coffee!
  8. All the other body changes.  You know what I mean. The other horrible things that happen such as: acne, hot flashes, peeing all the time (at the end), skin tags, swelling and whatever else happened that I tried to block out of my mind. None of it is fun.

The only good thing that came out of this was my little bug. Don’t get me wrong, I am so in love with my little guy & I would totally go through all that again. But I still hated being pregnant and that is okay.

Were you a magic unicorn that enjoyed being pregnant or were you like me? What was your favorite part?

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Top 8 Reasons Why I Hated Being Pregnant

Maternity Leave Blues- Going Back to Work Sucks

Maternity Leave Blues

Leaving isn’t easy.

As my maternity and time with my little one draws to a close I am finding it harder and harder to be happy. Friends and family tell me to “enjoy the time I have left” and to not think about the fact that in two short sweet weeks I have to go back to work. I have to go back to mornings without cuddles (one of our favorite morning activities, see picture from this mornings session). Days without changing a dirty diaper and getting peed on. Afternoons without petting his silky baby hair. A whole day without my baby.

Maternity Leave Blues- The truth about going back to work.Luckily I got to take eight weeks off with him but that still doesn’t seem like enough. I mean, I carried my child for 36 weeks and now I am supposed to only see  him for a few hours at night? It is like a part of me is going to be left behind. Maternity leave in America sucks ass.

Some could argue that I decided to have a child and I should have thought about that prior to having him. That I should have waited until our finances were in order before having him. You know there are those assholes out there that will say that. Most of those people don’t have children, but that is besides the point. In response, I didn’t know I would feel that way. I had no idea what this love was like. Unless you have had a child, you have no idea what this feels like and I do not think you can fully prepare yourself for leaving them. Even if I did know, why should I wait years and years?

I have spent hours trying to figure out what bills I could cut, what we could live without in order for me to stay home. My husband even said he would get another job ( which is ridiculous, but you can tell he loves me). Ways I can earn some extra money in order to get some more cuddles in. The fact is that I can’t cut back any of the bills, apparently we need heat and shelter. I can’t make enough to offset what we would lose. We cannot live on one income. I have to go back to work.

I know millions of mothers do it every year and I will be fine. There are a few things that make me feel a little better about going back. I know he will be in good hands and he will be loved all day & in reality, he doesn’t care if I am there or not. He is a baby. The only person that this will bother is me. The thing that is helping the most is what my mother said,

“By you going back to work, you are

giving him a better life. You are making

sure he will have everything he needs.

You are being a good strong roll model.

You are being a good mother.”

So for the next two weeks I will be enjoying the last days of morning cuddles, being spit up and peed on all day and the sweet baby smell. Because I have to go back to cubicles & slacks.

How long did you take off work? Do you feel like you got enough time?

Maternity Leave Blues- The struggle of going back to work.

The Birth Story of Buddy the Elf

The Birth of Buddy the Elf- A birth story

From what I hear, births rarely go how we plan.

Actually, almost every birth story I have heard had some type of complication (usually relativity small). The face is as soon as we get pregnant we are no longer in charge of lives or our bodies. That little baby is the one calling all the shots now. I had planned on having Buddy, that is what my mother calls him thanks to the movie Elf, around 40 weeks naturally with drugs. Well, mister baby had other things in mind.

Throughout my entire pregnancy I had eaten pretty healthy because I was terrified of gaining a ton of weight. That stemmed from losing around 65 lbs a few years back and I knew that I did NOT want to go through that torture again. So it was odd when I suddenly started to gain quite a bit of weight every appointment. That was accompanied with rising blood pressure. My doctor kept checking my urine to see if I had spilled any protein but of course I hadn’t.

Then one night I was extremely swollen. I’m talking gross swollen. So gross that my husband didn’t even recognize me. So I went in to the OB department to get checked out. The on call doctor then had me stay home the following two days to do a 24 hour urine sample because I guess you can spill protein at different times. That’s the way I understood it anyways.

Finally around 35 weeks, my doctor finally thought I had preeclampsia.

It took him three weeks later than my family and the other doctor but whatever. So he had me do yet another 24 hour urine sampling and then wanted to do blood work the next morning. Let me tell you what… that is a blast to do when you are super pregnant. Doing it during the day wasn’t bad however doing it at night it sucked. You wake up all the time to go pee anyway and I barely made it to the toiled every time. Then you have to put the hat in the toilet and whatnot. Oh and good luck not getting pee on your hand or on the floor when you attempt to put it in the container. I suppose the pee was preparing me for motherhood. I now get peed on once a day at least!

The following morning, I returned my urine to the lab and got my blood drawn and went on my way to work. Later on that afternoon my doctor called and confirmed  that I indeed had preeclampsia and my platelet count was really low. So he told me to plan on being induced a week from that day (I would have been 36 weeks on the dot) and to follow up with a blood test that Monday and if my platelet count was worse we would do plan b. At this point my main goal was to get through the weekend and through my baby shower.

Speaking of the baby shower, that was awful. It was a nice shower, I just started feeling really bad at this point. Not only was I dealing with normal pregnancy crap but I had a horrible headache accomplanied with being hugely swollen and not being able to pee. I just kept telling myself to get through the shower then I could go to the OB department and get checked out again because my blood pressure was like 160/101 or something.

Eventually my husband took me to the hospital and they did a non stress test on me. That nurse was HORRIBLE! The entire time she was a bitch about me getting induced so early. She kept telling me all the horrible things that could happen to my baby and that I need to keep him in there  longer. I looked at her and was like, “Lady, you do realize I am not the one making this call. My DOCTOR decided this. Go back to doing your nurse job.” ** She told me to go home and relax.  So homeward we went.

I had a feeling that I would end up having Buddy on Monday. Mothers instinct if you will.

So I made sure I had my bag packed an that I went in there early. I figured if they decided they wanted to do something I would rather them do it early in the morning. So I went in around 8 am or so, got my blood drawn and went to my mom’s house. (We live an hour away so I wanted to wait to hear from the doctor before driving all the way back home.) Around an hour later my doctor told me to come back to the hospital because my platelets were super low and I was going to have a baby. I called my husband and my mom and to the hospital I went!

After being admitted and being monitored my doctor decided it would be best for me to have a c-section. Buddy’s heart rate was bouncing between 160-180 BPM and my blood pressure was super high. They were concerned that I would labor for a long time, since it was my first child, and I would end up having an emergency one anyways. That was a terrifying thought. I hadn’t mentally prepared myself for a c-section. I hadn’t even prepared myself for really having a baby.

Then at 11:57 am I was a mommy to a beautiful 5lb 15.8oz little man.

Everything was pretty typical post c-section,The Birth of Buddy the Elf and if you have had one before you know how bad it sucks, until the day before we were supposed to go home. I started having 20 minute long shaking episodes randomly that were accompanied with my blood pressure spiking and a fever. That was more painful than getting out of bed. I mean I was shaking uncontrollably. It was awful. The nurses had no idea what was going on and neither did my doctor.

After a bunch of tests they decided it was a mix of a possible tiny infection, not getting my medicine on time and an allergic reaction to something. I personally blame it on the crappy nurse from earlier. It all started during her shift. I had to keep reminding her that it was time for my medicine and then she would forget about it. By that time I was already shaking. Once I was given my pain medicine on a regular basis again, the shaking fits stopped and I was released the next day.

So that is how my little guy came into the world. It went different than I had planned but he is here and I couldn’t be happier.

Did your birth go as planned, I would love to hear your birth story! If you had a c-section, how long did it take you to heal? Let me know in the comments!

** I just wanted to put a little disclaimer in here.. I loved all of my other nurses. They were truly wonderful and made the rest of my experience awesome. Most nurses are amazing and I cannot imagine doing their jobs.

 

The Birth of Buddy the Elf- A birth storyThe Birth of Buddy the Elf- A birth story