Maternity Leave Blues- Going Back to Work Sucks

Leaving isn’t easy.

As my maternity and time with my little one draws to a close I am finding it harder and harder to be happy. Friends and family tell me to “enjoy the time I have left” and to not think about the fact that in two short sweet weeks I have to go back to work. I have to go back to mornings without cuddles (one of our favorite morning activities, see picture from this mornings session). Days without changing a dirty diaper and getting peed on. Afternoons without petting his silky baby hair. A whole day without my baby.

Maternity Leave Blues- The truth about going back to work.Luckily I got to take eight weeks off with him but that still doesn’t seem like enough. I mean, I carried my child for 36 weeks and now I am supposed to only see  him for a few hours at night? It is like a part of me is going to be left behind. Maternity leave in America sucks ass.

Some could argue that I decided to have a child and I should have thought about that prior to having him. That I should have waited until our finances were in order before having him. You know there are those assholes out there that will say that. Most of those people don’t have children, but that is besides the point. In response, I didn’t know I would feel that way. I had no idea what this love was like. Unless you have had a child, you have no idea what this feels like and I do not think you can fully prepare yourself for leaving them. Even if I did know, why should I wait years and years?

I have spent hours trying to figure out what bills I could cut, what we could live without in order for me to stay home. My husband even said he would get another job ( which is ridiculous, but you can tell he loves me). Ways I can earn some extra money in order to get some more cuddles in. The fact is that I can’t cut back any of the bills, apparently we need heat and shelter. I can’t make enough to offset what we would lose. We cannot live on one income. I have to go back to work.

I know millions of mothers do it every year and I will be fine. There are a few things that make me feel a little better about going back. I know he will be in good hands and he will be loved all day & in reality, he doesn’t care if I am there or not. He is a baby. The only person that this will bother is me. The thing that is helping the most is what my mother said,

“By you going back to work, you are

giving him a better life. You are making

sure he will have everything he needs.

You are being a good strong roll model.

You are being a good mother.”

So for the next two weeks I will be enjoying the last days of morning cuddles, being spit up and peed on all day and the sweet baby smell. Because I have to go back to cubicles & slacks.

How long did you take off work? Do you feel like you got enough time?

Maternity Leave Blues- The struggle of going back to work.

12 thoughts on “Maternity Leave Blues- Going Back to Work Sucks

  1. Awe girl my heart breaks for you American mamas who have to leave your babies so soon. I can’t even imagine (we get 12 months in Canada which still seems too soon) but your mom is right, you’re doing what’s best for him. Doesn’t make it easy. ❤

    1. I wish I lived in Canada for a few reasons, one being maternity leave. I am so jealous of you. Yes! Right doesn’t mean easy.

  2. 8 weeks maternity leave definitely isn’t enough! In the UK we get 52 weeks! Good luck in going back to work and hopefully this becomes easier for you as time goes on.

  3. Oh hun – I am in the UK, but I am self employed and work for myself so thank goodness I didn’t have this problem. Hugs to you – enjoy every second of your baby. Kaz x

  4. I feel for you it is hard to leave them and go to work but unfortunately if is necessary in man cases. I am lucky as I get to stay at home although it is hard work. Many stay at home mums will agree it’s harder than a paid job although of course very rewarding.

  5. I can not even imagine I can only sympathise as in the UK dependent on employer you can get 12 months. With my company you even get pay whilst you on mat leave

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